If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
