How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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