He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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