Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
