who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
