Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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