I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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