Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
