doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize