How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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