I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
