He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize