I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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