I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize