Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
