Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You smell like stripper and shame
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
