a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
