great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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