Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
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he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
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You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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