i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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