oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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