Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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