Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
