He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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