Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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