did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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