Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
