I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I want to fling myself into the sun
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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