does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
