census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
