is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
