Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I smell stomach acid.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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