I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize