I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize