Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
