Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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