I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
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She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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