I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
