I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
