Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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