Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
