that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
