I can feel you judging me through the phone.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
