Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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