Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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