butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize