So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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