That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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