Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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