I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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