I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize