The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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