I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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