I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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