I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
