My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
