i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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